


Butterflies and Honey Bees

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Human Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Movie Night, Nightmares, Post-Finale, Post-Season/Series 15, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Vacation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:33:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29110116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: This is canon rewrite/ fix it fic for the last three episodes of supernatural. It’s a lot of fluff and pure happiness. Enjoy it!
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *updates will come weekly depending on my schedule!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This starts about six months after 15x19. Castiel was brought back by Jack and helps fix heaven, but when a question is posed he's not sure how to answer.
> 
> I'm really bad at these summaries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Updates will come whenever I'm able to get them out!

Castiel had always thought that the empty would be dark and agonizing, or that he’d be in pain. But it was everything but that. Yes, it was dark and it was lonely and soundless. That was the worst part about being stuck there. There was no noise, there was no one, no anything, just  _ emptiness _ . An eternity of loneliness that surrounded you and suffocated you  _ forever. _

Castiel didn’t know how long he had been in the empty. It could’ve been days, weeks, or months hell it could’ve hours. He didn’t care… it was all the same, complete and utter nothingness. Castiel knew that his fate was with the empty. He was going to spend the rest of eternity in the empty wallowing in his thoughts and memories to keep himself sane. 

Castiel tried to think about his life, he tried to remember the happy moments in his hundreds of years that he was alive. He tried to think about all the happy memories he had with Sam and Dean. Instead, all he could think was Dean. When he really boiled it down, Dean was the reason he got sent there. Castiel knew the terms of his deal,  _ then when you finally give yourself permission to be happy and let the sun shine on your face, that’s when I’ll come.  _ Dean was his true happiness. Even with the torture of the empty, the gaping silence that now consumed him, and made him feel  _ empty _ , it all felt worth it to him. Somehow, the messed up deal he had made felt worth it. The years he had with Dean, the sheer amount of joy and love he felt for one man, it felt that it made up for even the greatest misery.

After a while, Castiel just expected to stay in the empty and to be consumed by darkness and silence. He’d come to terms with it. He had come to terms with being tormented by the empty. 

That was until Jack came and got him out. 

Castiel was brought as a different person, he wasn’t the same fallen angel as before. The empty had more effect on him than he thought. He had an excess amount of time to mull through his thoughts and emotions. He had time to realize what he wanted,  _ who  _ he wanted. Unfortunately, Castiel had realized that what he wanted and  _ who  _ he wanted, he was never going to get. Hell, he was never going to even see  _ him _ again. 

Castiel had to stop sulking around. Jack had brought him back for a reason. He needed help in Heaven. He wanted to rebuild Heaven and make it better. He wanted heaven to be open, to let people make new memories and be with the ones they loved. He didn’t want heaven to be reliving his best moments. Jack wanted it to be a reward for being a good soul. Castiel was happy to help. Castiel felt that that’s what Heaven should’ve always been.

He and Jack tore down each and every wall, they made it so every soul was together and happy rather than separating everyone into rooms. They made it so everyone could enjoy new moments and create a sort of happiness for themselves. 

Castiel wanted to make sure that Heaven was a place where souls and their loved ones could be together and be happy. He knew what it was like to love someone and be kept from them. He didn’t want other people to feel the way he did. 

Once Jack and Cas were done rebuilding Heaven, Cas took a moment to relish in their work. It was beautiful, amazing even. It was what he thought Heaven should always be. It was perfect, yet somehow, it felt wrong. It was a nice dwelling place for the angels, it was a paradise for all the souls, it was nice for Jack to watch over and monitor. But not for Cas. 

There was nothing wrong with the heaven he and Jack created. Cas’s only problem was… he didn’t  _ want  _ Heaven. He didn’t want a paradise or an escape. He didn’t want endless roads or glowing sunrises where souls spent time together. What Cas wanted couldn’t be made, found, or brought to heaven. What he wanted was in no way perfect, it was far from perfect, quite the opposite. Instead what he wanted was crass, rude, self-destructive, intense, and broken. What Cas wanted was on Earth. What Castiel wanted was Dean.

Dean Winchester. The human. The hunter. The jerk… and the love of Castiel’s life. Dean was everything to Cas. He was the only thing Cas wanted more than a perfect Heaven.

****

Castiel had a grim expression on his face as he sat on the front porch of a farmhouse. He was staring out into the vast utopia that he helped create. Jack appeared in front of the angel. Jack was never great at reading emotions, but he knew something was wrong with his father.

“Hello, Castiel! How are you doing?” He asked with a smile on his face. He sat down next to Cas

Castiel didn’t look over a Jack immediately. He stayed silent and still. He didn’t speak for quite a few moments. “I’m fine… just taking it all in I suppose,” Jack saw that something was off.

“Castiel? You seem off, is there something bothering you? Is there something wrong with Heaven?” 

This time Castiel did send a glance over to Jack. “No, jack there’s nothing wrong with Heaven. It’s what it always should’ve been. I’m just thinking about Earth I guess… I miss it,” Castiel shifted in his chair to face Jack.

“Yeah, I do too. I liked it there. I miss Dean’s pie,” Cas let out a forced laugh, “You miss him, don’t you?” 

“Yeah, I do,” Cas looked away and went back to staring into the field surrounding him.

“You wish you were on Earth with him, don’t you?”

“You know I’m not sure. I’m not sure I’d be able to face him. After everything that happened. I told him that I loved him and that he made me happy and then just like that I was gone. I just can’t imagine how he’s doing…” The smile on Castiel’s face slowly faded.

“Cas, I can take you back if you want.”

“I don’t know, I think it might be better this way.” Jack looked at Cas confused, but he understood.

“Castiel, can I show you something?” 

“What are you going to show me?” Castiel looked at Jack wondering what Jack could show him that he hadn't already seen.

“Castiel, you say it’s better how it is, with you here and Dean down there, but I want to show you how it really is,” Jack began to raise his hands towards Castiel’s forehead.

“Yeah, I guess you can show me,” Jack placed his hands on Castiel’s forehead, and a burst of energy shot from Jack’s hands into Castiel’s head.

Cas saw Dean in the storage room right after the empty took him, cradled against the wall, head in his hands, tears flowing down his face. He saw Dean’s phone ring multiple times but he didn’t pick it up. He heard Dean say, “ He loved you and you couldn’t even say the one thing back that he needed to hear. You're such an idiot, Dean!” He looked up and just stared. He sat there all night crying and praying to Cas hoping he could hear him. Morning came around and Dean still hadn’t moved. 

Footsteps came pounding through the hall. Cas could hear Sam and Jack yelling out for Dean wondering where he was. Jack opened the door to the dungeon and ran in to see if Dean was okay. Sam followed right after him. “Dean? Dean? Are you okay? Where’s Cas?” Jack was panicking asking Dean a bunch of questions. Dean tried to speak but nothing came, he just kept trying to speak. His chest became heavier with every attempt at speaking 

“Okay, Dean just take deep breaths, relax,” Sam sat down next to Dean. Dean started to relax and breathe.

“He’s, Cas is…  _ fuck _ he’s gone, and I couldn’t  _ fucking  _ do anything about it. It’s my fault, Sammy, it’s all my fault!” More tears started coming down Dean’s face. He was angry at himself, he hadn’t been able to save Cas.  _ If he just told us what he did we could’ve saved him _

“Okay, Dean. It’s alright, just tell us what happened."

“Well, Billie had been coming for us and Cas put up a sigil to keep her out. He told me that he had made a deal with the empty to save Jack and that the only thing that could take Billie out was the empty so Cas summoned it just as Billie broke down the door and they were both taken. And now… now we’re here…and Cas is  _ fucking gone _ ” Dean was angry at himself. He couldn’t even tell Cas the one thing he wanted _ the thing he needed _ to hear.

“Dean, it’s okay. we’ll get him back. But right now we need to find a way to stop Chuck because he just snapped every living thing away,” Sam stood up hoping Dean would follow him.

“Sam, I don’t think we will. We can’t just open some magic door and grab him, he’s trapped with a celestial being! It’s not like _ last time,  _ Cas said this was forever, he said his deal couldn’t be broken,” Dean hated admitting it, but there was something this time. He had lost all hope for saving  _ his _ angel.

Then all of a sudden everything went black. When Cas opened his eyes Jack was moving his hands away.

“Jack, what was that?” Castiel was motionless, he seemed almost scared.

“Cas, that was right after you died. Right after you gave yourself up for him. You know I knew what you told him when you were taken. He prayed to me not to say anything, he begged for me not to tell Sam.” Jack looked at Cas, he had tears in his eyes. 

“Did he really say that he was an idiot?” 

“Yeah, yeah he did. He told himself other things too. He blames himself for what happened. Castiel, it’s not any better, even after we defeated Chuck. He drinks so much that he ends up passed out on the floor. He spends hours a day researching how to get you out. He hasn’t come out of the bunker in months” it seemed as if Jack was trying to get Cas to go back, he wanted his family to be happy.

“He can’t blame himself,  _ I  _ did this. He’s going to hurt himself or worse kill himself!” Cas knew Dean’s habits, he knew that Dean would end up getting reckless and getting himself killed. 

“Cas, I can send you back, but I need your permission.”

“Jack, you can send me back but I need you to take my grace away.”

“Cas, you’ll be human.” Jack was confused about why he’d want to give up his grace. After all, Jack had restored the angel's wings so they were at full power. 

“Yes, Jack that’s exactly the point. I know how some emotions feel. I've felt a few of them. But I want to feel all emotions. I want...  _ I need  _ to know that how I feel is real. I want to be able to eat and sleep, I  _ want  _ to be human.”

“Okay! If it will make you happy,” Castiel and Jack stood up, Castiel gave Jack his angel blade. Jack made a cut on the side of Cas’s neck, a blue and white mist came out of Castiel's neck. Jack put it in a clear vile and put the lid on it. Jack swiped his hand over Castiel’s neck to heal the cut he made.

“Thank you, Jack,” Cas wrapped his arms around Jack and squeezed him tight.

“Okay, when you're ready, I can take you to the bunker and Sam and Dean,” Castiel just nodded in agreement. Then Jack placed a hand on Castiel’s shoulder and the next thing he knew they were in the bunker’s library. 

Dean came running in, gun in hand. He came to a sudden halt when he saw Jack and Cas standing there. He lowered his gun and just stared in disbelief at Castiel. He swore he was hallucinating things and thought he had just blacked out again. He rubbed his eyes and Jack and Cas were still standing there. 

“Cas? Jack?” Sam had walked in and was standing behind Dean.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starts where the first chapter left off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I’ve changed my mind on updates. I’ll update everyday or other day! Feedback is always welcome!

“Cas? Is that really you?” Dean was hesitant. Every time he thought he had Cas back he had just been blacked out on the floor. He would wake up in a pile of beer bottles, and realize that it was all a dream and then just lay there. Dean later told Sam and Jack what happened. He never told them the full story though. Jack of course knew, but he wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. Dean spent most of his days drinking and researching how to get Castiel out of the empty. He forced himself to do something, he had to do something to keep his mind off of what happened. Every time he would stop drinking or reading he would always end up back in the Dungeon with Cas standing in front of him confessing everything to him. He always saw Cas standing there with tears in his eyes telling Dean, “... _ you're 'Daddy's Blunt Instrument.' And you think hate and anger, that's... that's what drives you. That's who you are. It's not.”  _ Dean still found it difficult to believe him. He never treated Cas very well. Then he thought back to what Chuck said, “ _ Dean Winchester the ultimate killer _ .” He remembered how he didn’t kill Chuck, because that’s not who he was, he wasn’t a killer. He was a hunter.

Then Castiel said it, the words Dean didn’t return. Cas told Dean he loved him. Dean was his true happiness and he loved Dean. Then he was taken from him. Dean knew deep down he loved Cas too, but he didn’t say anything. He let Cas die thinking that Dean didn’t love him. Dean’s thoughts were interrupted by the fallen angel.

  
  


“Yeah, yeah it’s me,” a small smile became etched onto his face. 

“But I saw you, god, I saw you get swallowed by  _ it _ , how are you here?” Dean was angry, not that Cas was back, but because of how Castiel died, swallowed into nothingness, all for loving him.

“Jack pulled me out. He took me up to Heaven and I helped him rebuild Heaven,” There was a crack in his voice. 

“How long Jack?” Dean had almost forgotten that Sam was even there.

“Not long after we defeated Chuck. I brought him back and we rebuilt Heaven and the other worlds and then I let Castiel do as he pleased!” 

“Why didn’t you come back?” Dean’s throat started closing in

“Dean, I wanted to, but I also wanted to enjoy the Heaven I built, I needed time to think…”

Dean was at loss for words. He thought Cas was dead for six months only to find out that he was in fact alive and in heaven. “Why now? Why are you suddenly back?” Dean couldn’t help but blurt it out.

“I- I needed to see you guys. I guess,” Castiel was confused, was Dean not happy to see him?

“Do you have your mojo? Or are you still powered down?” Dean poured himself a shot of whiskey and then put it to his mouth

“I gave up my grace. I’m human now!” Dean stopped pouring his drink and did a double take.

“You what?”

“Dean, I've been an angel for thousands of years. I didn’t mind being human before and now that Chuck’s not a threat, I thought that now might be a good time to be human again…” 

“You seriously chose being a human over being a celestial being?” Dean scoffed

“Yes, well, Jack has my grace so I can always get it back if I want, but if he was going to bring me back down here I wanted the  _ full experience _ , I wanted to be able to eat and sleep and do things I couldn’t before,” 

“Well, what are you going to do? There’s not been many cases lately and most of the time we were here trying to get you out,” Sam walked over to Dean and poured himself a drink. Dean had almost forgotten Sam was there.

“I hadn’t thought about it, maybe I could get a job or something?”

“Well, it’s early, so we could start with breakfast if you want?” Dean rolled his eyes at Sam’s suggestion. It was only five, normally Dean would still be passed out somewhere in a pool of beer bottles. He wasn’t exactly excited to be up and already having to be doing something. 

“I’d like that.”

“Kid, you gonna stay or do you have godly stuff you have to be doing?” Dean didn’t expect him to stay, he was after all “God”.

“I would like to stay. I could use a break from Heaven!” Jack was cheerful, probably because he had brought his family back together.

“Alright. Well, I’ll go get coffee and the food going… pancakes good?” Sam, Jack, and Cas shook their heads all agreeing on yes.

“Great!” Dean turned and walked away heading towards the kitchen. The others followed soon after. They sat down at the table watching Dean stand over the stove. He had a Zeppelin song playing on the radio, he was humming along with the song. 

Sam and Jack started talking about Heaven and how everything had changed. Jack was telling him how he and Cas tore down all the walls and how He replenished the angel supply. Castiel wasn’t listening to the conversation next to him, instead he was staring longingly at Dean. He was fixed how long his hair had grown, it was long enough just to cover his ears. He noticed how he had let the hair on his face grow out as well. It seemed as if he lost all care in the world. 

Dean started making plates full of Bacon, Pancakes and eggs. He sat the plates down on the table and went and grabbed the coffee and poured it in cups. Castiel instantly began to eat, starting with the bacon first, then the pancakes, and lastly the eggs. Everyone else did the same. 

Cas, Jack and Sam were busy talking about Heaven and how happy people were. Dean was listening in here and there, but he never spoke. He ate in silence. That was until Jack looked next to him, “Dean, are you okay?”

It caught Dean off guard, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just taking it all in,” Sam gave a disapproving look towards his older brother. He was never convinced his brother was ever fine, but he never pushed it.

“Hey, Jack! I have something to show come here,” Sam pushed his plate away from him and got up. Jack had a mouthful of food in his mouth, but he didn’t argue. Dean while not saying anything knew what Sam’s intentions were.

“You two talk or something. You’ve barely looked at each other,” Sam and Jack left the room, leaving only Castiel and Dean. Dean got up and went over to the fridge and grabbed two beers. He handed one to Cas and kept the other for himself. He lifted the bottle to his lips and began chugging the drink. Castiel was hesitant, he was human so alcohol would start to have an affect on him.

“Dean, how are you?” Dean didn’t answer.

“Dean, are you mad? Did I do something?” Castiel took a drink of his drink instantly looking disgusted.

“ _ Did you do something? _ Of course, you did something, Cas! For one, you made a deal with the empty and didn’t tell me. Then you suddenly bring it up and say it’s the only way to kill Billie. You said that you had to be happy for it to come and then you give a whole ass confession or some shit and tell me you  _ love me _ and then poof just like that you’re gone. You sacrificed yourself to save me, of all people. Then come to find out you’ve been alive for six long months and not once did you come back here. So yeah, Cas excuse me, if I’m not ready to completely welcome you back into my life. I tried everything to get you back! Everything! And nothing worked. I spent everyday trying to save you. I spent days just sitting in the dungeon praying to you, to jack and nothing. It was my fault you were gone so  _ I  _ was going to find a way to get you out, even if it meant trading my life for yours!” Dean just let his anger explode out of him. He had so much he wanted-  _ he needed _ to tell him.

  
  


“Dean-” Cas interrupted Dean, looking almost hurt.

“No, Castiel! you spoke your piece a while ago. It’s time I speak mine, so let me talk.” Dean put his finger up to motion for Cas to stop talking. “Cas when told me you loved me, I wanted to say it back,  _ hell, _ I wanted to scream it back at you. My heart was screaming at me to do so, and I tried, but nothing came. Then the empty came and you threw me out of the way, and all I could do was sit there and watch you get swallowed. I sat in the dungeon all night engulfed in emotions. I was angry, sad, confused, hurt. I ignored my phone, buzzing on the floor, I cried harder than I had ever cried before. I was screaming that I loved you, I couldn’t take the pressure anymore. I felt like my soul was crumbling, it was like all my happiness had been drained from my body. Then Sam and Jack came running in asking where you were. I couldn’t even say. I didn’t wanna dare say that you were gone. I couldn’t even put the words together. Then Sam told me to start from the beginning and so I told him what you did, everything you said, except for the last part, I didn’t want him to know. He told me we’d get you back, he promised we’d get you back. Sam had started walking out when Jack whispered in my ear that he knew what you said. And then he got up and I prayed for him not to tell Sam. I didn’t want to deal with my emotions, so I let anger and sadness drive me. I didn’t mention you again until after Chuck was off the board. I didn’t want to face myself until after, I knew I had time. Cas, I have loved you as long as I could remember! I never knew how to say it. Hell, I don’t think I understood the love I felt for you. For years I pushed it down thinking that you couldn’t, that you  _ wouldn’t _ feel the same way. I didn’t think that angels could feel love. I wanted to tell in purgatory when we found you after weeks of searching! I’m sorry man. I’m sorry I let you go thinking that I didn’t love you the same way. I wish I would’ve told you then.  _ Cas I _ _ love you! _ ” Dean’s voice was cracking, he was on the verge of tears. He had tears forming in his eyes.

“Dean, none of this was your fault. I made that deal. I was prepared to die, I had accepted my death. Everything I said, I meant. You did change me, you made me happier than any other thing in existence. I  _ do  _ love you. Dean, I’m so sorry! I didn’t want to come back because I didn’t know what I would’ve done had you not felt the same way. I’m sorry, I really am,” Dean let the tears that had been building up fall down his face. He let out a quiet sob. He got up and walked towards the angel. He pulled him up into his arms and held him tight. He buried his face in Castiel’s coat. Cas embraced him in the same fashion except Castiel buried his head in Dean’s chest. Dean didn’t want to let go, he was warm and fuzzy. He was happy. Tears continued to run down his face, onto Cas’s coat. Sam and Jack walked in laughing and smiling, and froze when they saw Dean and Cas. 

“Oh, um, I see you guys talked!” Sam let out a forced laugh. Dean was caught off guard and quickly let go of Cas and wiped his face. Cas had a big smile drawn on his face. Jack was standing next to Sam with the same large smile.

“Dean, why are you crying? Are you sad?” Jack was bad at reading emotions and was confused as to why Dean was crying.

“No, Jack I'm fine, I'm happy, their happy tears,” Dean let out a laugh, “Okay, well moving on, you wanna tell me what Sam showed you?” Dean wanted to avoid talking to Sam about what had just happened. 

“He showed me some  _ Star Wars  _ funko pops he had! He gave his Anakin one. They're really cool!” Jack held out the funko pop for Dean and Cas to see. Dean didn’t even know Sam collected funko pops. “Can we watch it?” Jack was beaming with joy.

“Watch what?” Castiel cocked his head confused.

“Star Wars! I’ve only ever seen the first three!” 

“Yeah, kid, sure. I think I have the rest of them lying around here somewhere,” Dean grabbed Castiel's arm and headed towards the  _ Dean Cave,  _ “ You two make some popcorn and bring some drinks. Cas and I will look for the movies.

Dean found the case holding all the Star wars movies behind his collection of westerns. He popped the fourth movie out of the case and put it in the DVD player. Castiel was sitting on the couch, he still didn’t know how a DVD player worked. Sam walked in carrying the beers and jack walked in carrying a large bowl of popcorn and his new funko pop friend. Sam sat down in the armchair and Jack sat down on the opposite side of the couch where Cas was. Dean grabbed the remote and sat down between Castiel and Jack. He started the movie and propped his feet up on the coffee table.Castiel grabbed the popcorn and put a piece in his mouth and immediately started getting more. “Okay. buddy, slow down. the rest of us want some too!” Dean let out a chuckle as he grabbed the bowl from Cas and handed it to Jack who grabbed a few pieces. The dean got some. Cas’ face started going red as he smiled to himself. 

Castiel scooted closer to Dean and laid his head down on Dean’s shoulder. Dean didn’t say anything and let him stay there. Dean took his free hand and started messing around with Castiel’s hair. Sam looked over and smiled, watching his brother play with his hair. The movie continued and Sam was explaining the more complex parts to Jack while Dean and Cas sat snuggled up to each other. Castiel felt safe. Lying there in Dean’s arms made him feel at home. 

Once the movie ended Jack asked Sam how Darth Vader was able to stay alive in his suit. Sam started rambling on about it and explaining it to Jack. “Hey, Jack, I know it’s kind of late but i wanna give you a birthday present. You know since you’ve never really had a birthday before. It’s in your room,” Sam got up and motioned for Jack to follow him. Dean was confused, he knew Sam did that earlier so that he and Cas could talk but they did talk. So what was his motivation now? Then Dean remembered the angel that had snuggled up next to him. Dean looked over at him. He had fallen asleep on Dean’s arm. Dean still couldn’t believe that Cas was back. He still couldn’t believe that he wanted to come back to him… even though Dean wanted him back. Cas shifted his position and was scrunched up with his head now in Dean's lap. Dean placed his hand on Castiel’s head and started running his fingers through his hair again. Then Cas opened his eyes, he looked almost refreshed.

“Where’d Jack and Sam go?” He slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes.

“I guess Sam got him a present that he wanted to give to him and he left us in here,” Dean couldn’t help but let out a chuckle, seeing Cas’ hair standing straight up.

“What? What’s so funny Dean?”

“Nothing, it's your hair. Here come here let me fix it,” Cas scooted back over towards Dean and Dean ran his hand through the angel’s hair fixing it.

“Dean, what time is it?”

Dean flipped his wrist to look at his watch face, “uh, it’s almost 10 why?”

“I don’t know, time seems to move at a slower pace now that I’m human.”

“Cas, can I ask you something?” Dean couldn’t get this thought out of his head.

“You just did!” Castiel let out a snicker. Dean rolled his eyes.

“Let me guess, Sam taught you that didn’t he?” 

“He did,” Cas was proud of himself for finally understanding a joke.

“Okay. Anyways,  _ dumbass _ , what are we? Relationship wise…” This question had been eating at Dean since breakfast. He loved Cas but he didn’t know if Cas wanted to be in a serious relationship.

“I mean I love you but if you're not ready for anything serious that’s okay. I want you to be happy!” 

“Castiel, I love you too, just can we take it slow please. We have all the time in the world now,” Castiel shook his head in a yes motion. Dean smiled at Cas.

“What do you mean we have all the time in the world? I mean, I know there’s no world ending threat but you're still going to hunt, right?” For weeks now, Dean had this thought on his mind. He’d been hunting since he could hold a gun, he never thought there was another option for him. But after dwelling on it he thought about getting out of that life and having the “apple pie” life.

“Cas, I haven’t been on a real hunt in almost five months. I mean, I’ve found cases but Sam and Eileen always took care of them. I haven’t really been in the mood to hunt. I don’t know if I want to keep hunting… I’ve been hunting since I could hold a gun up right. I guess, I just want a break,” Castiel was confused, Sam was the one who was always trying to get out but now it seemed as though roles had been reversed. 

“Okay. well, what were you planning on doing?” 

“I want to go on a vacation, I mean, to like a real beach, I want my toes in the sand and one of those umbrella drinks in my hand. I just want to relax,” Dean smiled just thinking about, maybe for once he could finally have a break.

“So, let’s do it! I mean, only if you want,” Dean was surprised that Cas hadn’t tried to talk him out of it. 

“Wait, really? You're not gonna try and talk me into hunting?” Dean gave Cas an almost confused look before grabbing a beer and opening it.

“Dean, I agree with you. you need a break, so that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna go to a beach and relax.”

“I love you!” Dean pulled Castiel forward and gave him a kiss on the forehead. Castiel sat in shock for a moment not expecting that. It was nice. Dean got up and went to his room, he wanted to get a bag together. Castiel stayed on the couch a little longer, still and unmoved.

**** 

Sam found Dean in his room packing a bag and became confused. “You going on a hunt?” Dean jumped, Sam startled him.

“No. actually, I think Cas and I are going on a vacation!” Dean was excited, Sam hadn’t seen him this happy in... he didn’t know how long. His big brother had been trying to save the world for over a decade now.

“Where to?” 

“Remember, a few years ago after we got Michael out of me and I said i wanted to go to a beach and have my toes in the sand?” Dean stopped packing and was now sitting on the foot of his bed.

“Yeah, I do. Is that where you're going?”

“Yeah, yeah I think so. I mean the plan might change but right now a beach!” Sam let out a chuckle. “What’s so funny?” 

“It only took you two twelve years to realize that you loved each other.” 

“Yeah, so?”

“Jack told me, you know?” Sam came in and sat down at Dean’s desk closing the door behind him.

“Jack told you... what exactly?” Dean was racking his head for what Jack could’ve told Sam. 

“He said that you lied about what really happened with the empty. He told me that you prayed for him not to tell me what really happened. So I won’t pry. but Dean, what really happened?” Dean really wasn’t in the mood to talk about any of it. But he knew that Sam was just trying to care for him.

“Well, what I told was true… I just didn’t tell the whole story. Cas did summon the Empty but he was only able to because he had made a deal when Jack died. The empty told him that when he allowed himself to be happy that's when it would come and take him. _ For good _ . Billie had chased into the dungeon, but Cas warded it so he could tell me something before she could get in,” Dean got choked up just thinking about it, “he gave a long ass speech about how i had, uh, changed him and that he uh he cared because  _ I  _ did. He said the one thing that could make him happy was the one thing he couldn’t have. As the empty came, Billie broke in and Cas told me- he, uh, told me he loved me. I was the thing that made him happy, I was that thing he thought he couldn’t have! He thought that I didn't love him the same way. That’s why he didn’t want to come back to us. He didn’t want to face me…” Dean let out a quiet sob. Castiel was alive; he didn’t know why he was still broken up about the situation. “I prayed all night long begging for him to come back. I cried for hours, saying how much he meant to me. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how!” Sam was silent, he didn’t know what to say. Dean had tears rolling down his face. 

“Dean, it’s okay! He’s back now, he knows how you feel. I understand why you didn’t tell me,” Sam got up and went and sat down next to his brother. “Dean, you deserve this break, go take it! You and _lover boy_ deserve a break after everything,” Sam couldn’t help but laugh. Dean looked over at him with a ‘did you really just say that’ look. 

“I’m taking Miracle, too. I don’t think Cas has met her yet. Where is she?”

“Jack has been playing with her. So, I’m guessing his room. I’ll go now. so you can finish packing.” Sam got up and walked out of the room. Dean got up and grabbed some sunglasses before zipping his bag up. He left the bag sitting on his bed and went to find Cas. He found him in Jack’s room with Miracle and Jack. They were tossing a ball around the room and letting Miracle go get it and bring it back to them. 

“You got a dog, Dean?” Castiel looked up noticing Dean standing in the doorway.

“I mean we didn’t really “get” her. We found her,” Dean joined Jack and Cas on the floor.

“Yeah, when we went to find Michael we found her at a gas station. Chuck got rid of her not long after. but then, I brought her back as a gift to Dean!” Jack took the ball from Miracle’s mouth and tossed out in the hallway.

“I thought you didn’t like dogs, Dean?” Cas was right, Dean didn’t like dogs. He was scared of them. But Dean figured that it was time to get over that.

“Yeah, I didn’t. I mean, I was ripped to shreds by one. so, I guess, I was kind of scared of them. I figured that Miracle was my sign to get over that! So I brought her home and now she sleeps with me. She’s very fluffy!” Jack and Cas let out a laugh.

“She is very fluffy Dean. I’ll give you that. Are we going to take her with us?” Castiel hoped they would, he liked the floppy eared dog.

“Take her where?” Jack threw the ball before looking at Castiel confused.

“Jack, Dean and I are going to take a vacation and sort some things out. We’ll only be gone a week. You can stay here with Sam or go back to heaven if you’d like.”

“Oh, okay. I would like to stay here with Sam, then. I’ll put another angel in charge while I’m gone. I’ve been wanting a break too!” 

“Cas, do you have your stuff packed?” 

“A little, but I don’t exactly know what  _ to  _ pack. I don’t know what humans normally take with them…” Dean realized that Cas had no idea what he was doing.

“Okay, babe, come one I’ll help you out. Jack you can play with Miracle for a little while longer if you want,” Dean stood up and took Cas’ arm to help him up. They left Jack with Miracle and headed down to Cas’ room. Cas had a bag on his bed with very little in it. He had a shirt, a pair of sweatpants, and a tube of toothpaste.

“Okay,. so, you’ll need a couple more changes of clothes, probably stuff for warmer weather, a toothbrush, at least one pair of shoes, stuff you might want to keep you busy, oh, and you’ll probably want some shower stuff too,” Castiel was intrigued by the amount things a human needed for a simple vacation. 

“Dean, I don’t have any of that, aside from stuff to keep me busy. I mean, I have shoes and clothes, but they're for normal weather and are more formal,” Castiel motioned to the clothes he had on. His signature blue dress tie and beige trench coat. “And I’ve never had to shower before…” Cas grew silent, he noticed the cheeky smile that was slowly appearing on his face.

“Wait, you're telling me you have toothpaste, but you don’t have a toothbrush? I mean I knew the rest of the stuff you probably didn’t have but you don’t have a  _ toothbrush _ ?” Dean chuckled, Cas became embarrassed.

“I thought that you were just supposed to put the toothpaste in your mouth and swig it around… I didn't know that’s what a toothbrush was for!” Dean burst out in laughter, while Castiel just stood there.

“Wow! You’d think after being on Earth for years you’d know how brushing your teeth worked.” Dean was still chuckling between words.

“Dean, Stop it! I’m new to this!” Castiel crossed his arms and stared at dean.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. Okay. look, we can fix all of this. we just have to do a little bit of shopping,” 

“Oh, okay… sorry, I’m not great at this whole human thing yet,” Cas stared at the ground, Dean walked over to him and cupped his hands around his face.

“Castiel, you’ve been, what, 5 hours? You're fine, baby. It’s hard, I'll help you. I promise! But why don’t we figure out where we're going and then go do that shopping?” 

Castiel shook his head in agreeance. “What about California? It’s nice there and I hear their beaches are beautiful!” Dean had turned and was zipping Castiel’s bag. 

“Sure. I mean, I’ve never been to the beach so I don’t know. why don’t we try it?” Dean wasn’t a big fan of California but why not try something new. He grabbed Cas’ bag and headed to his to get his bag, “Cas, can you get Miracle? I gotta get my bag and her bowls,” Castiel nodded as Dean made his way down to his room. Cas loved this new side of Dean. He was happy and always in a good mood. 

He went down to Jack’s room where he and Miracle were lying on his bed asleep. Castiel tapped Jack trying to get him to wake up. His eyes slowly opened, and then he slowly sat up. “Hi, Castiel!” Jack said groggily, wiping his eyes.

“Hi, Jack! I just came to get Miracle and say bye. Dean and I are about to leave,” Cas was patting miracles head.

“Oh, okay. Bye, Cas! Bye, Miracle!” He waved to the dog. 

“Jack, how long are you going to stay here?”

“I don’t know, maybe a couple months or years. I can go back to Heaven whenever so I think I'll only go back if I’m needed!” Jack began scratching the dog’s ear.

“Okay, Jack. well, you and Sam have fun. I'll see you when I get back. And I want to say thank you, Jack. For letting me come back,”

“It’s no problem, Castiel! I wanted you to be happy! Have fun on your trip!” Jack got up and hugged Castiel tightly. Cas hugged him back, just a little looser. Cas called for Miracle to follow him and he walked out of the room.

Cas and Miracle met Dean in the library. Dean had two duffel bags, a bag of dog food, and two dog bowls. Sam walked in carrying a six pack) of beers. “I figured you’d want something for the drive,” Handed Cas the beer. “Did you decide on a place yet?”

“Yeah, I’m thinking of San Francisco! Cas hears the beaches are nice in California and I’ve always wanted to go to San Francisco.”

“Oh, wow! That’s what, at least a day's drive?” 

“Yeah, but we just have to stop and get Cas some new clothes and a toothbrush.” Dean motioned towards Castiel’s nearly empty bag.

“Well, you two have fun. Jack and I are going to finish the Star Wars movies.” Sam walked off towards Jack’s room. 

“Okay. Well, let’s get this stuff packed and on the road!” Dean started picking everything back up. Cas picked up his bag and called for Miracle. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if my characterization of the characters is off. If it ever seems off tell me how I could fix it!


	3. PB&J’s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel start their trip!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m getting busy with classes and work so the posting of chapters may slow in the coming weeks. Thanks for all the kudos!

Dean opened the door to the garage to find Baby sitting there in the middle of the room. Dean grabbed his keys and unlocked the trunk. He sat the bags and bowls down and then sat the dog food on the side. Cas came up behind him and tossed his bag in. Dean walked around to the side and let Miracle hop in the back. He then tossed the keys to Cas. “Cas, why don’t you drive? It’s been a while since you drove her,” Cas was astonished that Dean was letting him drive the car. Normally, only Dean was allowed to drive it. Cas opened the front door and sat down in the brown leather seat. Dean sat down on the passenger side. Castiel put the keys in the ignition and started the black Impala up. The roar of the engine startled Cas as he hadn’t heard it in a while.

Castiel pulled out of the garage and onto the street. The drive into town was short and quiet. Dean was right; Castiel hadn’t driven the Impala in a long time, it felt weird to be driving. Dean told Cas to stop in front of a clothing store. Castiel parked the car in front of the store and stopped the car. Dean told Miracle to stay, and he and Cas got out of the car. Castiel opened the door and held it as Dean walked in. Cas followed behind Dean. He was heading towards the back where the shoes were. 

Cas only ever wore the same black dress shoes and Dean only ever wore his boots. Dean said that you don’t wear those shoes to the beach. He said you wear flip flops. He also said you wear swimming shorts and cool beach themed shirts. Castiel was intrigued by the idea of beach themed shirts.

Dean found a couple different pairs of flip flops in different colors. He asked Cas which ones he liked best. There was a pair that had a blue sole and red strap. He told Dean that he liked those and Dean told him to try them on. Castiel took off one of his shoes and a sock and slid his foot into the sandal. They were soft and comfortable, he liked them. Dean found a pair of simple black ones that fit him.

Dean then went over to the clothes and started flipping through the racks. Dean suddenly let out a big gasp, “Oh, look at these! They're awesome!” Dean had found a pair of light blue button up shirts that had little boats and umbrellas on them. Castiel looked at the patterned shirt and smiled.

“Those are… different,” Castiel had never seen a shirt like this. He reached out and touched the shirt. It felt a lot like his collar shirt that he always wore.

“Cas, this is the type of shirt i was talking about. They are cool, right!” Dean was super excited, much like a kid in a candy store. 

“They are cool, quite awesome actually,” Castiel grabbed one of the shirts and looked at it more closely, now seeing the wave that was etched onto the shirt. Dean grabbed the other one and motioned for Cas to come with him. According to Dean, the last thing they needed were swim trunks. Castiel didn’t know what swim trunks were. He thought all shorts were the same. “Dean what exactly are swim trunks?”

“Swim trunks are shorts that you wear whenever you go to the pool or the beach, which is why we need some.”

Castiel was still confused on why you needed certain shorts to swim in. But he didn’t really care. Dean was circling around a rack when he stopped. Dean grabbed a pair of Black shorts with pockets on the side. “Here, Cas. look here and see if you find something you like. Then we can get you a toothbrush and get on the road,” Dean moved so Castiel could look through the shorts. He came across a green pair that had white stripes down the side. 

“I like these ones! I like green,” Cas held up the shorts to show Dean and he just smiled.

“You sure do. Come on, let's pay,” Dean put his hand on Cas’ shoulder and walked him to the register. Dean put all their items on the counter. He grabbed a toothbrush from the area next to the counter and placed it there too. Dean pulled his card out and paid, Cas grabbed the bag from the man behind the counter and walked towards the door. Dean opened the door and Castiel walked around to the back of the Impala. He opened the trunk and placed the bag in the trunk. He and Dean got in the car. This time, Dean decided to drive. 

Castiel pulled a box out of the glovebox. It was all of Dean’s tapes with his favorite songs on it. Cas started going through it looking at the titles trying to find something to listen to, when he came across a familiar tape. The black rectangular shape stuck out like a light. Castiel picked up the tape labelled  _ Dean’s top 13 Zepp traxx _ , Cas didn’t think Dean had kept it. “You kept it?” Cas blurted out in shock.

“Of course, I kept it. I wasn’t going to let an awesome playlist go to waste!” Dean kept his eyes on the road.

“Did you listen to it? It was at the bottom of the box,” Castiel knew Dean hadn’t listened to it. He could tell Dean suddenly become less energized.

“No, I didn’t. Cas, I couldn’t bring myself to listen to it. I relate every single one of those songs to you, it hurt too much,” Dean became silent, he was embarrassed to admit it. he didn't like being being emotionally vulnerable, even to the people he loved it was difficult.

“Well, can we listen to it now? I mean unless it’s too painful…”

“You know what… yeah, pop it in there!” Dean popped the tape holder open and Castiel slid the tape in and music started. Dean started dramatically drumming his fingers to the beat on the wheel. Cas grabbed a beer from the cooler and screwed the lid off. He took a swig of the drink making a disgusted face towards it, he wasn’t used to the aftertaste yet. 

Dean stopped drumming his fingers on the wheel after a few minutes, and he took one hand off and placed it in the middle of Cas and Dean. At first, Castiel didn’t get the notion but then he realized it was like the movies. Dean wanted Cas to hold his hand. So, that’s what Cas did, he intertwined his fingers in Dean's. Dean squeezed Castiel’s hand and then brought it up to his lips and gave his hand a soft kiss. Dean then slowly placed their hands back in between them. Castiel became all warm and fuzzy inside again, he truly loved Dean, in the purest of ways and knowing Dean feels the same way makes him incredibly happy. he felt at peace for the first time in a long time.

“Cas, what’s it like?” 

“What are you talking about?”

“Heaven. I mean, are people truly happy?” Dean was fixed on Cas now. His blue eyes glowing in the sunlight.

“Well, like Jack said, it’s not reliving your old memories anymore. People wander and go wherever they choose, they can have a house or a family and see other people. Yeah, I’d say people are happy. I think it’s what Heaven should’ve always been.”

“What did you do in Heaven? You know, after you fixed it and all." 

“I had a house right outside Kansas and had a bunch of land. I planted a garden and made myself a bee farm, and I got a cat. I named her Winnie! She was a black cat with these pure emerald green eyes. I would go visit the roadhouse sometimes and get a drink or two and hang out with Charlie and Kevin. Most days, I would go and watch the bees or just enjoy the warm air, it was refreshing,” Dean smiled imagining Cas with a cat and bees. He imagined a drunk Charlie and Kevin with a slightly tipsy Castiel.  _ Oh the hell they would raise _ he thought to himself. 

“That sounds great, Cas, really great. I’ve always wondered what life would look like for me if I ever got out. You know of this life. That sounds similar to how I imagine it. Especially lately,” The smile slowly crept of Dean’s face.

“Well, _how do_ _ you  _ _imagine_ life outside of monsters and demons?” The sun was setting now, revealing a light purple sky. 

“I'm not completely sure. I’d want to live away from people, maybe in the mountains somewhere, in a small house. I’ve always wanted to own a bar or work on cars, I can never decide which one. I’d want you and Miracle there of course. I always imagined you'd have a little bee farm and make honey and sell it. I’d always imagined Jack there but now that he’s  _ god,  _ I didn’t think he would want to live with us. The two main things I’d want are you and Miracle, and to be happy,” Dean let out a forced chuckle. He always thought it was a stretch before, because he didn’t know Cas loved him and he didn’t think he’d ever get out. now it felt like complete happiness was achievable. 

“That sounds beautiful. I would love that someday, a nice quiet life with animals and you. And I think with some persuading Jack would be there. He told me he’s planning on staying here with Sam for a little while since heaven doesn’t really need him right now.”

“That’s good, the kid deserves a break.  _ We  _ all do,” Dean’s tone had softened, then he decided that he wasn’t going to touch that mess of a subject yet, “Are you hungry? I haven’t ate anything since this morning and I could really go for some cherry pie. And Baby needs a fill up,” Dean looked over at Cas who was reached over the seat petting Miracle. Dean’s sudden change of topic flew right over the fallen angel’s head.

“Yes, I’m starving!” Dean pulled off the road when he found the next nearest town. He pulled into a gas station and started filling the car up with gas. While he was waiting he opened the door and let Miracle out to stretch her legs. Cas also got out and stretched, he let a big yawn and then ran his fingers through his hair. Miracle ran over to a grassy area, presumably to use the bathroom. Cas followed her to make sure she didn’t run off. Dean stood watching how Castiel interacted with the dog. She jumped on him making him tumble to the ground. Dean let out a laugh. For the first time in years Dean was genuinely laughing. Soon after Cas and Miracle came jogging back to Baby. Miracle got in the car after Dean gave her some water and food. Castiel and Dean got back in the Impala and drove till they found a diner that was opened. The two got out and headed inside.

The interior was like any other diner Dean had been in, bland. They sat themselves down at a booth and Dean started looking at the menu. “I think I’m just gonna get a burger and pie, what about you, Cas?” Dean sat the menu down and looked at Cas. Still in his trench coat.

“You know, last time I was human I really liked peanut butter jelly sandwiches. I want to see if it tastes the same. I think I’ll get some pie, too,” Dean smiled remembering when Sam told him about Cas’ adventures with sandwiches.

A young woman walked over carrying a jug of water, she poured it into cups for the boys. “Welcome in! What can I get you boys?” 

“I’m going to have the bacon burger, medium well with some cherry pie on the side.”

“I think I’m going to have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with cherry pie as well,” The boys handed their menus back to the woman and she went back to put the orders in. 

Dean pulled out his phone and saw a missed call from Sam. He slid the notification over to call Sam back. On the first two rings he didn’t answer and then before it had a chance to ring again Sam picked up. “Hey Sammy, what’s up?” Dean put the phone on speaker so Cas could hear what Sam was saying. 

“Just want to check in with you guys, make sure everything’s going well!” Dean could hear Jack talking in the background.

“Well, we're all good, just stopped at a diner in Colorado for some food. We have a day’s drive left,” the waitress came back and sat down two plates of pie.

“Okay. well, Jack and I just finished one of the star wars movies. Just call me when you get there, so I know you made it,” Cas picked up a fork and stuck it in his pie. 

“Okay,  _ mom _ , bye!” Dean hung up on Sam, he was more worried about his pie then talking to his brother. Castiel was putting a bite in his mouth as Dean picked up his fork. Cas’ face instantly lit up. 

“Dean, this is amazing! I see why you like it now,” Dean let out a hushed chuckle, he caught himself staring into Cas’ deep blue eyes. His reaction to the pie was cute, he was glad Cas liked it.

“Yeah, it really is. This is some of the best diner pie I’ve ever had. Of course, only topped by  _ mine,” _ Cas smiled at Dean’s comment, shoving more pie in his mouth. 

Soon enough the waitress came back with Dean’s burger and Castiel’s sandwich. Dean took a bite of burger, thinking it was mediocre. Castiel took a bite out of his sandwich. 

“How’s it taste, Cas? As good as before?”

“Yes, it’s quite similar, a little sweeter but it’s not molecules!” Cas and Dean continued to eat their food. Castiel was savoring every last bite of his food. Dean on the other hand was eating like he hadn’t eaten in days. They ate in silence, they were both glad to be back together. 

Dean and Cas finished their food at almost the exact same time. Dean was ready to get back on the road, he was tired and wanted some sleep. He pulled out his wallet and pulled two twenty dollar bills out and laid them down on the table. Cas got up and stood behind Dean. They walked out of the diner and headed towards the parked Impala. Cas was heading to the passenger side when Dean handed him the keys and told him to drive. So Castiel went on the driver’s side instead, while Dean took his spot on the passenger side. Before Cas started the car, Dean grabbed a beer from the cooler and took the cap off. 

Castiel started down the road. It was dark now, the stars were clear in the sky above. The roads were empty, the only thing to see was the occasional tree or bush. Miracle had fallen asleep in the back seat. Dean had his feet propped on the dash and had his half drank beer in his hand. His head was leaned up against the window. It took Dean close to an hour to fall asleep. Castiel looked over at Dean, noticing how tense he looked. Dean was never a relaxed sleeper, he always looked stressed or anxious. Cas wished he could just take away all his fears, Dean hadn’t had a good night's sleep in years.

Dean started mumbling to himself as Cas continued down the road, he figured he was dreaming. Suddenly, Dean started flinching and squirming around. Castiel realized that he wasn’t dreaming, but he was having a nightmare. He pulled the car over on the side of the road and took the keys out of the ignition. The soft music that was playing stopped. Cas had seen Dean go through nightmares, but he never did anything because Dean always stopped when Cas realized something was wrong. He didn’t know what to do, so he tapped Dean’s shoulder a couple times. “Dean? Dean, wake up. It’s a dream! Dean?” Castiel knew this probably wasn’t going to work, Dean was a heavy sleeper.

Suddenly, Dean’s eyes shot open and he shot up. “Cas? Where are we? What happened?” Dean was groggy and confused. 

“Dean, we just passed through Denver. You seemed like you were having a nightmare… is everything all right?” Dean was looking around him and wiping his eyes.

“I think… yeah everything's, uh, fine,” Castiel may not be an angel but he knew when Dean was lying.

“Dean, I can see it in your eyes. What’s wrong?” Dean rolled his eyes, he hated when Cas called him out.

“I was just seeing people I wasn't able to save… mostly you, Sam or Jack,” Dean took a deep breath, and he looked over at Cas.

“Are you okay? You were mumbling and flinching, it scared me…”

“I don’t know, Cas. It's hard watching the people I love die  _ over and over again _ . It seemed real,” Dean put his beer up to his lip and took a drink of it.

“Dean, we're all very much alive, as far as I can tell. Me, Sam, Jack, we’re all here for you.”

“I know, Cas. it’s just hard to bounce back. I mean, I thought you were dead for six months, I didn’t know if Jack was alright, and Sam went on hunts back to back by himself. I just got you back. I don’t want to lose you again.  _ God,  _ this is so stupid!” Dean let out a chuckle and gave a small smile towards Cas.

Castiel slid closer to Dean, he wrapped his arms around him and placed his head in Dean’s chest. “Dean, I love you. You are not going to be losing me any time soon. Okay?” Cas could hear Dean’s heart slowing down, he was relaxing.

Dean placed a hand on the back of Castiel’s head, his other going on his back. He leaned down and gave the blue eyed angel a kiss. It was soft and carefully placed. Dean held his head close to Cas’s, after, relishing in the moment. A feeling of comfort and excitement rolled over Dean, kissing Castiel unlocked a feeling he hadn’t felt in years, a feeling he didn’t know he could still feel. “Cas, I love you, too… I can’t believe it took me twelve damn years to say it, but I love you.” 

“Dean, it’s okay,” Castiel slowly released himself from Dean and sat back up. He slid back in the driver's seat and just sat there for a moment. “Dean, come here,” Castiel put his hand next to himself, motioning for Dean to move closer. 

Dean moved closer to him, slowly. “Lay down. Dean. just relax,” Dean laid his head down on Cas’ leg, stretching his legs out on the seat. Cas started the Impala up again and pulled back into the road. He had one hand on the wheel and his other resting on Dean’s head. He was running his hand through Dean’s hair. Dean slowly fell back asleep on Cas. Castiel smiled, his whole body being filled with comfort and happiness. 

Cas drove the rest of the night.

It was almost five thirty when Dean woke up. He didn’t immediately move though. He stayed laying down, staring up at Cas. Cas had covered him with his trench coat. “Cas, what time is it?” Dean still wasn’t moving, he was content with staying where he was.

“It’s almost five thirty. You’ve been asleep for five hours,” Cas looked down at Dean, who only had one eye open.

“And you just drove?” Dean thought Cas might’ve stopped at least once but it didn’t seem that Dean had moved.

“No, I stopped a few hours ago for gas and snacks. I didn’t wake you because you seemed peaceful. You’re a very heavy sleeper, Dean.” Dean smiled thinking about Cas trying to move Dean without waking him. 

“Why didn’t you move me when you got back?” 

“I don’t know. I didn’t really think about it. I kinda just picked your head up and just put you back, I guess. I know you don’t get a lot of sleep so I thought if I moved you, it might wake you,” Dean let out a chuckle.

“And this?” Dean pulled Cas’ coat over his shoulders.

“Oh, you had started shivering and I just it might warm you a little,” Cas became a little bit embarrassed and started blushing. 

“Well, thank you, I appreciate you letting me sleep,” Dean sat himself up bringing the beige overcoat with him. “What snacks did you get?” Dean looked behind him and saw a few bags. 

“I got a little bit of everything. I got some breakfast foods, sugary things, chips, jerky. I didn’t really know what  _ to  _ get,” Dean reached back and grabbed the bags and started going through them. He pulled out an individually packed chocolate chip muffin and unwrapped it. He stared at it for a moment before biting into it.

“Cas, are we still in Colorado?” Dean asked through mouthfuls of muffin.

“No, we're not. we came into Utah just before you woke up. Can you hand me a strawberry muffin please?” Dean handed Castiel a muffin. 

“Oh, so, we still have a long time to go huh?”

“Yeah, we have about sixteen hours left,” Cas peeled open the muffin pack with one hand keeping the other on the wheel.

“Cas, let me drive, you haven’t slept at all,” Dean could see the dark circles starting to form under Castiel’s eyes. 

“Dean, I’m fine,” Cas scoffed as he shoved half his muffin in his mouth. Dean rolled his eyes.

“Castiel, we're not doing this, I’m not going to argue like an old married couple with you. Now, you pull this car over and let me drive. You need to sleep. Live with it,” Dean couldn’t help but chuckle a little. He felt lighter having Cas back, less anger flared inside him. Trying to get mad at Cas came out more as a sarcastic joke.

“Okay, okay. I’ll let my angry squirrel drive his baby,” Castiel pulled the car over to the side of the road. He stared at Dean, giving him a ‘ _ there I did it’ _ face.

Dean pushed open his door and sat Cas’ coat down in the middle seat. Castiel sat his half eaten muffin on the console and walked around to the passenger side of the Impala.

Dean sat down in the driver’s seat and put the car in drive. He pulled off the side of the road and back onto the road. Within minutes, Dean could hear Cas snoring. He looked over and much he had, Castiel fell asleep with his face glued to the window and legs scrunched up against the console. He still had his muffin in his hand, just barely holding onto it. Dean couldn’t help but let out a chuckle, seeing Cas scrunched up to the window with muffin crumbs running down his face. It was a new side of Castiel he had never seen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidently sped the driving up a little so it's not accurate on getting from Kansas to Utah in a day but oh well! Criticism is always allowed!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly diner fluff with an appearance from Jack.

Dean drove for six hours before Castiel woke up. He didn’t immediately move, instead he just stared out the window. He didn’t even bother to wipe the crumbs off his face.

“Well, hello, sleepyhead!” Dean shot at him, reaching over to turn the radio down. 

All Cas could manage was a grunt. He slowly sat up, removing his feet from the console and prying his face from the glass. His hair was sticking straight up on one side. He wiped his face with his shirt sleeve. “How long was I, uh, out for?” He let out a big yawn.

“A good six hours or so.”

“Oh. That long? It felt a lot longer than that!” Cas smiled, he felt refreshed after waking up from his  _ nap _ . 

“Haha, yeah, bud. You were snoring like a bear the whole time,” Castiel scooted closer to Dean laying his head on shoulder. Castiel wasn’t great at showing his affection. He didn’t really know how to show it through physical contact, so he figured snuggling up to Dean was best. 

Dean smiled, Cas was almost like an oversized teddy bear. He liked when Cas snuggled up to him. He felt warm, like the sun was shining on him. 

“Dean, how much longer do we have?” Cas looked up at Dean, he was really only able to see Dean’s growing facial hair. 

Dean grabbed his phone and looked down at it, “About nine and a half hours. Why? Do you want to make a stop?”

“Kind of. I need to stretch my legs for a little while. If you don’t mind…” Castiel sat up, his side had started to hurt after laying in an awkward position. 

“Yeah, we can stop. It looks like there’s a town up ahead. Baby needs a fill up and I could go for some food right now.” 

Dean sped up, the town was about five miles down the road. He got off the road he had been on for hours and turned into the town. He pulled into the first fill up place he saw, parking the Impala in front of a pump. Dean pulled the keys out of the ignition as Cas got out and let out a big yawn followed by a stretch. Dean let Miracle out of the back seat but told her to stay by him. He pulled the gas handle over to start filling the car up. Cas started heading to the door of the convenience store. 

“Hey, Cas, come back here real quick,” Dean called out to Cas while he was rubbing Miracles ears.

Castiel came trudging back over to dean. “What’s up?”

Dean finished filling Baby up and then walked around to the trunk of the car. He opened it revealing their bags and the food for the dog. He unzipped his bag and handed Cas a pair of black sweat pants and an old tee shirt. “Here, go change into something comfortable. I don’t plan on making anymore stops, so I want you to be comfortable.” 

Cas grabbed the clothes from Dean's hand. He turned back around and headed for the door. Dean was still in his jeans and flannel shirt. He didn’t feel like changing his clothes. So while he waited on Cas he walked Miracle over to a patch of grass to let her use the bathroom and eat. A few minutes later Cas came out of the store carrying his old clothes in a pile, wearing the sweat pants and shirt that were both a bit big on him. He met Dean back at the Impala. Dean tossed Castiel’s old clothes in the back of the car. Miracle hopped in the back seat and laid down. Castiel and Dean got back in their same spots as before. 

Dean pulled out of the gas station and back onto the road. It wasn’t far before he came upon a diner. He pulled into the parking lot and parked the car. Dean and Cas got out and headed for the door. 

The inside of the diner was much like the previous one they had stopped in. Red and white wallpaper with old photos and paintings hanging up. A young boy, who couldn’t have been much older than fifteen met them at the door.

“Welcome in, how can I help you?” The boy had quite a lot of pep.

“Uh, yeah. we need a table for two,” Dean said looking around seeing the busy diner. 

The boy grabbed two menus from the wall, “Just follow me, then!” He turned around and headed for a table in the corner. Dean and Cas followed after him.

The boy sat them down and handed them the menu. He walked away right after.

“Cas, I’m not too hungry, so I’m just going to get some fries and coffee. What about you?” Dean placed the menu back down on the table.

“I think I’ll just get another sandwich. I also would like coffee. I think we should probably get some for the road too, since you're not planning on stopping again unless necessary,” Cas was still scanning through the menu observing the meal choices.

“Yeah, you’re right. I should only have to stop two more times for gas. We should get there around ten thirty,” As he said this an older woman came over with a small notebook in her hand.

“What can I get you boys today?” She seemed bored and over her job.

“Hi! We’ll have two coffee’s, an order of fries and four sandwiches. And could you put four of those sandwiches in boxes please?” Cas blurted before Dean could even think about speaking. The woman was scribbling in her little book mumbling under her breath.

“Okay, I’ll get you those coffee’s and fries for ya!” She grabbed the menus and walked off back towards the kitchen.

Cas’ phone started ringing a minute later. He pulled it from the pocket of his pants. “Who is it?” Dean wondered, thinking it was probably Sam.

“It’s Jack… I didn’t know he knew how phones worked…” Cas looked over at Dean wondering what to do.

“Well, pick up the phone!” 

Cas did so, putting the phone on speaker. “Hello, Jack.”

“Hi, Cas!” Jack sounded energized.

“Why’d you call?” 

“Sam told me to call and check in with you!” Dean just rolled his eyes knowing that his brother just wanted to be nosy.

“Well, everything’s all good on our end, bud. What about you?” Dean chimed in.

“We’re good here, too! Eileen came over last night and we watched  _ Star trek _ . She and Sam left a few minutes ago to go get groceries. I’m here playing with legos and reading books,” Cas could hear the sounds of Legos clacking together.

“That sounds fun, Jack,” The waitress came back carrying their coffee and fries. Cas took the phone off speaker phone and put the phone up to his ear. “Jack, I know we’ve only been gone a few days, but who did you put in charge of heaven?” Castiel was whispering into the phone so no one else heard him.

“I put Gabriel and Anael in charge. I told them that if there’s anything big, they need to run it by me, but there shouldn’t be anything big!”

“Okay, Jack, I’m gonna go now. our food is here. Bye, Jack!” 

“Bye, Cas! Have fun!” Cas took the phone from his ear and hung up the call. Dean was staring at Cas with a contorted look.

“What’d the kid say?” Dean poured a pack of sugar in coffee and took a drink of it.

“He just said that he put Gabriel and Anael in charge until he decides to go back. He said they are running anything big past him,” Cas picked up a fry and tossed it in his mouth.

“How many angels did Jack pull out of the empty?” Dean asked, putting a couple fries in his mouth.

“He brought back the ones he thought would be helpful in helping rebuild Heaven,” The waitress came back with a plate and a box. She sat them both done in front of Castiel. Cas started taking bites of his sandwich, eating everything except the crust.

“Dude, come one now! The crust is the best part!” Dean sighed, picking up the crust off Cas’ plate and throwing it in his mouth.

“It tastes weird and I don’t like the texture of it,” Cas had already eaten half of his sandwich.

“Jeez, Cas, ya hungry?” Dean tossed a handful of fries in his mouth.

“It’s just so sweet! It makes me very happy,” there was a certain softness in his voice. 

“Really Cas, you gettin’ all touchy feely over a sandwich?”

“Look, you and sandwiches make me warm inside okay? They hold a certain place in my heart,” Dean rolled his eyes, he couldn’t help but chuckle at Cas, who had a small smile bleeding across his face. He shoved more fries in his mouth and finished off his coffee. 

As Cas was finishing up his sandwich the waitress came and dropped the check by. This time Castiel pulled out an old tethered wallet and pulled out two twenties writing keep the change on receipt with a little smiley face.

Dean slid out of his chair and pushed his chair in. Cas got up and grabbed the boxes of sandwiches and headed towards the door. He put the boxes in the cooler with the beers. He grabbed two beers before setting the sandwiches down. 

Dean climbed in the front seat and started the Impala as Castiel got in. Before they got back on the road Dean put in a new mixtape taking out Cas’. He replaced it with a tape that had his favorite  _ Bon Jovi  _ and  _ Led Zeppelin _ songs on them. Zeppelin's  _ Ramble on  _ came on softly through the speakers. He pulled out of the diner parking lot and onto the road. Castiel was sitting back against the window humming along to the melody. Dean turned back on to the main road. 

The two drove in silence for forty five minutes before Dean finally broke the silence. “Cas, did you really think I wouldn’t feel the same way about you?” The question had been itching in Dean’s head all day. 

Castiel let out a small sigh before turning to Dean, “Dean, ever since you persuaded me to help you with Sam, I felt an attraction. Something I had never felt before, like a magnet forcing us together. It took me a year to realize that what I felt was love. By then you had already formed a relationship with Lisa. I didn’t want to come and destroy your life, so instead I sat outside the house every night watching you, making sure you were happy. After you came back I never knew how to tell you how I felt. Angels aren’t supposed to feel such strong emotions so I was still confused. Then you just became so stressed and angry after what I did with releasing the leviathan, I knew I couldn't tell you because you didn’t seem to feel the same way. I just pushed it down and told myself to forget about it, because I thought you didn’t care for me the same you cared for Sam. But then, I made that deal and I knew, I knew you were the only thing strong enough to make me happy. I knew that I would end up having to dig up those repressed emotions just to be ripped away from everything. I didn’t want to stress you out about the deal, so I didn’t bring it up until that day. I’m sorry, Dean. I should’ve told you everything…” Cas started breathing a little heavier. He knew he already told Dean a lot of this, but he wanted to make sure Dean had the whole truth. He didn’t want Dean to blame himself for his choices.

“Cas, it’s okay. I understand. I didn’t treat you very well. I’ve been… Well I’ve been an ass.  It’s just after you started spending more time with me and Sam, I started to uh feel things I guess,” Dean hesitated, “I didn’t know how to cope with it, so I uh I buried that emotion and barely let it see the light of day,” Dean started choking up, he was never great at the whole feelings thing, “I replaced it with hate and anger, and I… I took it out on you,” Dean let a few tears run down from his face. Stopping for a moment before continuing. He didn’t know how to put his words together, “I realized there was no getting rid of that feeling. The love I felt for you wasn’t like how I had ever felt before,” Words became harder to form as Dean grew more emotional, “I just wanted to tell you how I felt, but I never… never knew how to form the words. I thought that… that angels couldn’t… you know love,” Dean had tears streaming down his face. His voice became incredibly shaky. He became unable to form words.

Castiel didn’t know what to say. Dean had already told him that he loved him for years, how determined he was to find a way to save him, but hearing the complete emotional lock up he did hurt Cas. Castiel knew Dean struggled voicing his emotions, so for him to get that far was good enough for Cas. Dean had to pull the car over because he was shedding tears and couldn’t see. He was wiping his face over and over. 

“Dean, it’s okay, I understand, you don’t have to explain yourself.”

Castiel grabbed Dean and  turned Dean so he could look at him . His hair was falling into his face, Cas pushed it back. He cupped Dean’s face just like he used to do. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Dean’s. Dean was a little shocked but didn’t move. Instead he put his hands on Cas’ face to steady himself. Cas bit Dean’s bottom lip. Dean held him even tighter, sticking his tongue in Castiel’s mouth then releasing form Cas’ grip and he started moving his mouth around Castiel’s face pressing his lips on his forehead, cheeks and nose before moving back down to his lips. Dean laid one last soft and long kiss on Castiel’s lips before Cas let go. Cas seemed almost shocked, his face wet with Dean’s tears. Dean looked away shyly. Cas knew Dean was better at showing his emotions this way.

“Dean?” Cas knew Dean was embarrassed, after going from being teary to full blown make out session. 

“I’m sorry, Cas, I said I wanted to move slow…” Dean looked up through his long brown hair.

“Dean… that was pleasant. Unexpected, but very pleasant.” Castiel blushed. Dean was not prepared for that reaction.

“It felt  _ fucking  _ amazing, it was releiving as  _ hell _ to,” They both let out a light chuckle that quickly faded out. “Castiel I just want you to know that I’m sorry for treating you like trash.”

“Dean, I don't blame you for how you treated me. You were raised on it. I think you tried your hardest and I think you’ve made up for it,” Cas laid down in Dean’s lap staring down at the pedals. Dean started caressing Cas’ face before he pulled the car back onto the road.

****

Dean had been driving for four hours when he noticed he was almost out gas. He saw an exit that led to a gas station and decided to pull into it. Cas wasn’t asleep so when the car stopped he sat up.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing. I just figured now was a good time to stop for gas since I haven’t really seen anything the past hundred miles,” Dean let out a big yawn as he started pumping the gas.

“Can I drive the last leg of the trip? You’ve been driving for ten hours straight.” Cas was still sitting in the car with the window rolled down.

“Yeah, sure. if you want,” Dean finished pumping the gas and paid.

Castiel slid over to the driver’s side, while Dean opened the passenger side door. He turned around and grabbed the cooler with the sandwiches. He looked over at Cas, “Want one?” Castiel had started the car and was about to pull back out onto the road.

“No, not right now.”

“Okay,” Dean turned and put two of the boxes back and grabbed himself a beer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ending is terrible I apologize but I'm not sure how write certain conversations or feelings. 
> 
> Criticism is always welcome.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas spent the next four hours eating snacks and about the events that followed after defeating Chuck. Dean was talking about the research he did, and the small amount of hunts he went on. Cas talked about how he spent his time in Heaven and who he spent it with. He said he spent a lot of time with Bobby and Mary and at the Roadhouse.
> 
> The sun had set but there weren’t many stars to see, it was cloudy. Dean was staring out the window, while Cas drove. Dean broke the painful silence that had lasted an hour, “Can we try staying at an actual hotel? I’m tired of sleeping in musty motel beds,” Castiel let out a chuckle, Cas remembered that Dean had never really stayed in a real hotel room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for not updating this sooner, I’ve been a bit stressed. But here we are!

Dean and Cas spent the next four hours eating snacks and about the events that followed after defeating Chuck. Dean was talking about the research he did, and the small amount of hunts he went on. Cas talked about how he spent his time in Heaven and who he spent it with. He said he spent a lot of time with Bobby and Mary and at the Roadhouse.

The sun had set but there weren’t many stars to see, it was cloudy. Dean was staring out the window, while Cas drove. Dean broke the painful silence that had lasted an hour, “Can we try staying at an actual hotel? I’m tired of sleeping in musty motel beds,” Castiel let out a chuckle, Cas remembered that Dean had never really stayed in a real hotel room.

“Sure, we’ll do whatever you want,” Dean could the Golden Gate Bridge from his window. Castiel turned into a parking lot that had a tall building towering over it. He parked in the first spot he could find. He took the keys out of the car and stepped out and stretched. Dean slowly followed. Cas went in to get a room, while Dean grabbed the bags and cooler. He put Miracle on a short blue leash and led her inside to meet up with Cas. When they went in, Cas was handed a card by the woman behind the counter. 

Cas turned to Dean and showed him the key, “Fourth floor, with breakfast included,” Cas got very excited mentioning the included breakfast. 

“Okay. well I’m smashed from driving all day. I say we go up, unpack and go to bed,” Dean turned down a long hallway and made his way toward the elevator. Cas followed loosely behind him. Dean pressed the button for the elevator and waited a moment before the doors opened. They walked in and Cas leaned over to press the number four button. 

The elevator ride was short. The doors opened revealing a hallway much like the first, except this one had more doors. “We’re in room seven D,” Castiel said as he was looking at a sign with different numbers and letters on it. He turned to the left and headed a few doors down before stopping and putting the card in the door handle. The door let out a small beep before Cas pushed the door open. 

Dean followed Castiel into the room, revealing a large room with two large beds and a huge tv. Dean was amazed, the room was twice the size of any motel he had ever stayed in before. Cas went and sat down on the bed closest to a window. Dean shut the door behind him and sat the bags down on a desk.

“Wow,” Dean was at a loss for words. 

“I know, right. It’s amazing! And the beds are memory foam,” Castiel knew Dean loved his memory foam mattress at the bunker.

“Your kidding! Man, this is amazing!” Cas nodded in agreement as Dean fell down onto the bed next to him, letting out a deep breath. He sat back up against the wall, taking it all in. Miracle hooped up into Cas’ lap and curled into a ball.

“Uh, Dean…” Cas said as he looked down confused as why the dog had hopped into his lap.

“Rub her stomach, that’s what she wants,” Dean got up and walked over to the bags. He pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt, much like what Cas was wearing. 

Cas wearily started rubbing Miracles stomach. She relaxed and rolled onto her back letting her tongue fall out. Cas chuckled seeing how the dog reacted. Dean walked out of the bathroom a few moments later and crawled into the bed in front of Cas. He lifted the covers and covered up under them. “Alright. well, I’m going to bed. She can sleep with you if you want. She’ll curl up next you,” Dean reached over to one of the desk lamps and flipped it off before rolling away from Cas. 

Cas liked the idea of the dog being next to him all night. Castiel laid down on his back and relaxed. Miracle, much like Dean said, curled up next to Castiel’s side. He didn’t feel the need to use the covers on the bed. He fell asleep moments later. 

When he woke up the next morning, Dean was already sitting upright staring at the TV in front of him. Miracle was still curled up next to him. He slowly sat up looking over at an alarm clock that read six thirty. “Dean?” 

Dean jumped a little before looking over at Cas. “What’s up?” Dean reached for the remote and turned the volume down, “Did I wake you up?”

“No. no, you didn't,” Cas said, wiping his eyes. “How long have you been up? It’s still dark out.”

“I tossed and turned till about three, falling asleep for a little bit then waking up from dreams. After the fourth or fifth time, I just gave up and turned the TV on,” Dean was looking back at the TV now.

“Oh,” Cas forgot that Dean is used to running on three to four hours of sleep. “What are you watching?” Cas swung his legs off the bed and sat facing Dean.

“Wheel of fortune, it was the only thing on at three in the morning,” Dean looked over at Cas, he stared at his bed head. His hair was sticking up in all directions. 

Castiel remembered watching that show a few times when he would hunt with Sam and Dean and were sleeping in their beds. “How’d you sleep?” 

“Good, I guess. I mean, I really only got like three and half hours of sleep in all but the beds were comfy,” Dean got up and walked over to the coolers where he grabbed a beer and twisted the cap off. His hair was much better then Cas’ was, he ran his hand through it trying fixing it.  _God, I need a fucking haircut_ , he thought to himself as he walked back over to his bed. “How’d you sleep, Cas?” Dean sat back down and took a drink of the beer.

“Uh, pretty good, had Miracle right next to me all night,” Cas looked back at the dog, softly petting her side.

“That’s good,” Dean was staring at the TV again. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Castiel broke it, “You hungry? Cause I know I am!”    
  


Dean just looked at Cas, “That’s cause you didn’t eat last night!” Dean scoffed as he tipped his beer up to his mouth.

“Yeah. yeah, I know,” Cas got up and walked over to his bag. He pulled a white dress shirt and black pants. 

“Babe, relax, okay? you just woke up,” Dean put his beer down on the nightstand. He walked over towards Cas who was still holding the clothes, Dean put his arms loosely around Cas’ waist and placed his head on his shoulder. 

A large smile appeared on Cas’ face and he blushed a little, “ Babe? ” 

“Yeah, it’s supposed to be sweet… like baby,” Dean became nervous thinking Cas wouldn’t like the pet name.

“It is very nice. I like it,” Cas seemed almost comforted by it.

Cas tossed his clothes back on the desk. Cas turned to face Dean’s body, and he placed his hands on Dean’s shoulder. Their faces were inches away from each other. Dean started shifting his legs, Cas followed, not letting go of Dean. They moved as if there were walls up around them. Dean was guiding Castiel in a square. Then suddenly he grabbed Castiel’s hand and twisted his body. He ended up right back in Dean’s arms. Dean let his shoulders relax and his face loosen up. Dean had moved his hands up, so now they were on Cas’s shoulders. Cas took his hands and cupped his face much like Dean used to do when he was scared for Cas. He leaned in and gave a soft almost angelic touch. Dean returned the favor with tongue. Cas smiled, he saw an opportunity. He pushed Dean up against the wall and started a tongue war in Dean’s mouth. Dean released for a moment, taking a breath and then kissing all over Cas’s face and down his neck. Cas moved his hands through Dean’s hair as he kissed him. Dean’s facial hair scratching on Castiel’s face. Dean suddenly flipped Cas around so now he was on the wall. Dean moved his hands off of Cas and onto the wall. He gave Cas one long kiss then he let go and leaned in for one more. He let go of the wall, Cas had moved his hands down to his waist and was leaning onto Dean while Dean kissed his lips softly before letting go. 

Dean let go and looked into Cas’ gleaming blue eyes. He leaned into Castiel’s ear and whispered, “ I love you  so fucking  much!”

Cas smiled and simply said, “I know.”

They stayed standing against the wall, holding each other and staring aimlessly into each other’s eyes. Cas was stuck looking at Dean’s grass green eyes. They seemed exceptionally full of gleam this morning. Dean leaned into Cas, burying his head in Cas’ shirt. His arms resting around Cas. Cas put his arms tighter around Dean. He put his face close to Dean’s ear and said, “I like this new side of you.”

Dean pried his head from it’s resting place. “What can I say…  you changed me ,” He said mockingly at Cas. Castiel couldn’t help but let a big smile grow upon his face. He chuckled a little too.

“ _Assbutt_ ,” 

“I know, but I’m your assbutt!” Dean had a soft smile on his face. Cas rolled his eyes and kissed Dean’s cheek before letting go of his hold. Dean watched him as he grabbed his clothes and walked into the bathroom. 

Dean became lost in his head. He liked how vulnerable Cas got with him. He loved how vulnerable  he  got with Castiel. He loved how he would get lost in Cas’s eyes. He lo

Moments later Cas walked out carrying the sweatpants and tee shirt he had on the night before. He had his signature blue tie paired with his white button up and black dress pants.ved feeling Cas’ weight against him. He felt different with Cas. Odd but different. He still hadn’t come to terms with the new side of himself. 

Moments later, Cas came back with the previous night's clothes in hand. He had his signature blue tie on paired with black dress pants and a white button up. He didn’t have his beige coat on, which was out of character. “What are we ditching monkey suits, now?” Dean chuckled, finally moving away from the wall.

“Monkey suits? Monkey’s don’t wear suits....” Cas cocked his head and raised an eyebrow at Dean’s comment.

“No, babe, I'm talking about your coat and stuff… when you put all together it’s fancy, I guess, i don’t know how to explain. It’s just supposed to be funny,” Dean went digging through his own bag looking for a pair of decent clothes. He pulled out a red flannel, a black shirt and a pair of blue jeans. He also grabbed his tooth brush and tooth paste and headed towards the bathroom.

Cas moved back over to his bed where Miracle had moved to the foot of the bed. He sat and stared at the TV, still playing Wheel of Fortune. 

Dean came back a few minutes later with his old clothes. “Alright. are we ready for breakfast?” Dean grabbed his wallet off the desk and looked up to Cas.

“Yeah, I’m dying of hunger,” Dean rolled his eyes, taking the fallen angel’s hand in his. Dean led Cas to the door and headed out for breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the crap writing this chapter. These next few are just filler chapters to move time along and I’m struggling with the writing a little.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic so some of the characterization may be off. Feedback is always welcome


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